Bored by Destroy All Monsters
LABEL: Cherry Red Records

“The song ends with something the Misfits would be proud of: ”˜Jackie! Hold onto his brains!’”

Listen to Destroy All Monsters' 1978 record Bored after listening to anything by the band before that and you will think they are the biggest sell outs in rock history. If by some divine miracle this is your first DAM listen, you'll probably think this is weird weird shit, even for 1978 when punk was already flipping everyone from the past off.

This is the problem with listening to Bored now. DAM was weirder than pretty much any band when art students Jim Shaw, Mike Kelley, Cary Loren and Niagra formed in 1973. The band made rock noise that was unheard since the Fugs and not heard again until Half Japanese. From 74-76, the songs they recorded were fuzzy psychedelic freakouts with no structure in the rock n' roll sense. It sounds like they listened to the Stooges "L.A. Blues" and decided that was the way rock n' roll should sound. The chaos they recorded was a direct reaction to the mainstream blandness of the mid 1970s. It was straight from the gut, with no pretention or planning. They didn't want verses or choruses or guitar solos like all those other bands, but once Shaw and Kelley left the band in 1976, that's exactly what happened.

In a Perfect Sound Forever article from 1996, Cary Loren says, "We had given up abstraction for power. It was a small bid for fame and fortune." If money is what they wanted, they didn't go straight enough. Adding Ron Asheton of the Stooges and Michael Davis of the MC5 to join didn't hurt commercially, but Bored is far from a mainstream record. The opening song sounds mainstream enough musically, but the lyrics "When I woke this morning, I was really bored. When I woke in the afternoon I was still bored. Really bored. Really bored. I was bored. I was bored." Maybe she's talking about changing from a freak artpunk band to a band with repeating riffs? Either way, there's no way this was getting played on the radio. Asheton's solo to end the song is reminiscent of Stooges, but the Stooges' punch is missing so the solo fades without ever digging into your skin.

The rest of the 7 song reissue proves DAM couldn't make a sleazy 70s mainstream record if they tried. "You're Gonna Die" has Niagra yelping "I was looking out the window and a witch flew by, whipping her broom and she said YOU'RE GONNA DIE. YOU'RE GONNA DIE. YOU'RE GONNA DIE." The original release in 1978 was a single of "Bored/You're Gonna Die."

In 1999, other tracks were added on for a reissue. On "November 22, 1968," Niagra's screaming about JFK's assassination. The song ends with something the Misfits would be proud of: "Jackie! Hold onto his brains!" It's hard not think of Blue Oyster Cult when listening to the riffs and solos. Unlike DAM, BOC found a balance between the truly weird and mainstream.

The remaining songs run together, lyrically and musically, except the final track "Goin' to Lose." If sped up, this song could be an early 80s hardcore classic. The simple three chord start/stop structure complete with group vocals repeating, "Motherfucker, it's out of your pay!" is a great way to end Bored. The band never made a fortune. They did everything they could to make a mainstream record, and even if the music is there, singing about witches, being bored, and a motherfucker boss who docks your pay is never going to make it above ground.


REVIEWED BY ADAM WISNIESKI
ADAM'S 3 FAVORITE TRACKS: "You're Gonna Die" • "November 22, 1968" • "Goin' to Lose"
Read more by Adam on his blog, Short Wave Rockin


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